The Wedding Ring
I haven’t worn my wedding ring in a very long time. 
I had perfectly valid reasons to stop wearing it. I was playing a lot of piano for a long time, and it got it the way. I was also gaining weight. A lot of weight. that made it tight on my hand. That was a problem because it was uncomfortable.
So I stopped wearing it. That was a bit before we started the renovation on the house. There was a fair amount of chaos at that time. Our entire home was torn apart, we moved from house to house and room to room, and somehow… I lost it.
I hadn’t said anything about it for a while (and by a while, I mean years.) I quietly looked for it. It was only recently that I decided to tell my wife. I figured, with our 20th anniversary just past, I would like to start wearing a wedding ring again. So I asked her to help me pick one for my 45th birthday, a kind of anniversary/birthday gift combined. We will probably be looking for a ring to purchase this week. as my birthday approaches.
It was a tough thing to say aloud. I guess I felt like a bit of a failure, and that I had not been really true to my commitment. I know that a marriage is not about a piece of jewelry, but it is a recognized symbol, and to lose it does seem to indicate a lack of responsibility.
I’m sure it’s in the house somewhere. I’m going to make one last ditch effort to find it. I have my suspicions on where it is, but we will see if any of them come to fruition.
As soon as you buy the new one – the old one will resurface.
I can’t tell you how to feel and I know you know it’s not about the ring, but I will say I know more men that don’t wear one than do these days. It’s really not about the jewelery. It’s what’s in your heart. I know how much work and effort you guys put into your life as couple and as a family – you have had many challenges and even more successes. You found a rare woman in your wife and she found an amazing man in her husband. You are very lucky that you found each other but even more so that you found in each other a partner ( yes besides me) with which to go through life with facing all those highs lows. I look at you both as kind of model that I aspire to in my own relationship.
First of all, I’m so glad you’re writing again. I missed your blog!
You’ll find it, and if you don’t, well, make sure you choose a nice new one. If you can swing it, buy her a little bling, too.
In decades past, men never wore wedding rings. I know several men who don’t wear them. They are perhaps the most happily married, committed family men I know. Youself included.
You know Vin, I’m a pretty secure person (Wife), so I don’t put a lot of weight on the symbol thing…but I will tell you, that when I look over at my Husbands hand, and I see that band…there’s this sense of pride and good will that comes over me. I just like it, I don’t really know why, but I do.
I think it’s great that you told her and that it means something to you, to get a new one.
I agree with Julie – so good to read your blog!
xo
Ditto what Contessa said. And Julie. And Suzanne, and Jeannie, too!
I’m sure your lovely wife was actually touched that you would like a new one. Even if it is only a symbol, knowing that your marriage means enough to you after all this time that you want to replace that simple symbol, is deeply touching.
I remember the day you got married, and your beautiful ceremony. I still have a “rose”, and some birdseed in hem of my dress!
Love and best wishes to you both!