Comments for Dad Revisited

Comment on Dealing with Death by Sam

Sam — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 22:54:09 +0000

Hey. The best thing I ever, ever heard about death is that people die twice. Once when they die, and a second time when the people who knew them stop remembering them. I think it’s helpful because people like to be in control, and you can control remembering people, even if you can’t always control keeping people alive.

Comment on Dealing with Death by Glenn

Glenn — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 02:22:11 +0000

I’m so sorry for your loss. Please give Michele a hug from me.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. As you know, this topic is on my mind constantly these days. I enjoyed your perspective.

Comment on Dealing with Death by Vinny

Vinny — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 15:18:23 +0000

Every one of these little bits of reality is so heartbreaking as a parent. Every time I’ve left a job, I’ve watched my children struggle with the instability. They have become all to used to the fact that Dad can’t attend some events or Dad won’t be around to help with driving/ practicing/ homework. They have become less childlike, which sounds like a good thing. It is, but it shouldn’t have to happen so soon.

Comment on Dealing with Death by Carl Ferrara

Carl Ferrara — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 15:10:56 +0000

It’s very hard to explain this to a child. When my grandmother died, we tried to explain what had happened to Rachel. We were as blunt and honest about it as possible. We didn’t say, “She’s going away for a while,” or “She’s sleeping,” we put it to her, she’s not alive.

Even at the funeral, we answered all the questions about her as honestly as we felt she could handle. Then in the limo after the burial, she asked, “when do you think granny will come back?” And we explained that she won’t. And then it hit her. And she started crying. Most heartbreaking moment of my life.

Since then, there have been many follow up questions to complete her understanding. But, ever since then, there’s been a darkness with Rachel. She used to be completely optimistic, but since then, she was optimistic with a hint of reality behind it. Not, “Things are going to be great!” But rather, “I know things are bad, but Things are Gonna be GREAT!.”

Comment on Dealing with Death by Vinny

Vinny — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 14:17:01 +0000

I can be thankful that they have yet to endure such an event, and I’m grateful that you shared it. I know when I look at my kids I often see the struggles they’ve had to endure. I can’t imagine seeing what you’ve seen when I looked at them. Let’s hope neither yours nor mine have to endure such a thing again for many years.

Comment on Dealing with Death by Gwynn Lenihan

Gwynn Lenihan — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 12:56:06 +0000

Having two young children at the time of my first husbands death, I understand. These two beautiful boys aged 5 and 6 respectively at the time, watched this once vibrant man full of life,literally fade away in front of their eyes.

I was diligent about being very frank about the situation,but was fiercely protective about trying to maintain the fact that they were still boys. Tough wire act to try.

I took the boys to grief therapy at Hearts and Crafts.Through art and other children they learned that death occurs.To Grandparents, brothers and sisters, mommies and even super-hero like dads. We cried, we laughed, we remembered. Remembered.

Ten years later the grief is still there. I have since fallen in love again and remarried. I have another son who is now the age one of the bigger boys was their daddy died. Hard not to see that. Hard not to know that my second husband has had more actual time with them thier dad.

I watch as those two boys start to turn into men and my heart aches. They are remarkable.
They each have aspects of their dad.The tilt of the head, a glint in the eye, a low rumbling laugh.I point these things out and tell them that that is their fathers immortality.And then we remember.

Comment on Cafeteria Catholic- Overview by Theresa

Theresa — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 23:19:08 +0000

Or, if you do not like what the cafeteria is serving, you can always find another restaurant. I was brought up Catholic, but found a church that brought greater light and meaning into my life. I will always be grateful for the values that I was taught by my devoted parents, but as I raise my own children, I am thankful daily for the blessings that I receive from my new faith.

Comment on DRV002- The New Uke by Richard Keefer

Richard Keefer — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 06:38:51 +0000

Vinny,
Your song was very sweet and I enjoyed hearing it. I hope that you and yours are doing well! BTW – I believe way back in December of 1988 I dragged you out of bed when I messed up my finger. Does that sound at all familiar? Do you remember walking with me, Anthony Bax and Frederic Voisin to the Potsdam emergency room through the snow and cold?? I think it was you…. Anyway I don’t know if I ever thanked you. So if I’m right and it was you. Thanks! Better 22 years late than never?!
Richard Keefer

Comment on Ipod Touch by Vinny

Vinny — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 04:35:36 +0000

Sure. If you publish, I’d appreciate a link back to my site.

Comment on The Wedding Ring by MapleMama

MapleMama — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 15:35:18 +0000

Ditto what Contessa said. And Julie. And Suzanne, and Jeannie, too!

I’m sure your lovely wife was actually touched that you would like a new one. Even if it is only a symbol, knowing that your marriage means enough to you after all this time that you want to replace that simple symbol, is deeply touching.

I remember the day you got married, and your beautiful ceremony. I still have a “rose”, and some birdseed in hem of my dress!

Love and best wishes to you both!