Dad Revisited

“I just called… to say… I love youoooooo!”

I know, I know. But the other day, I was feeling like I should call. I was lonely. I felt, at that particular moment, that I wanted to hear her voice. She wasn’t there. The voice mail picked up. Now I had to decide what to do. Should I:

• hang up? I didn’t really call for anything important.  It’s merely a ‘hi, how are you, I missed you’ call, so is it really worth interrupting her workday?
• leave a message? I never like leaving mushy messages, because the sound so lame. You never know what to say, and your voice already sounds weird, so it’s never as cool as you hoped it would be. Read the rest of this entry »

Continuing the theme I began last week, I offer the last of my resolutions for 2009.

Resolution 6- Technology as a Tool, not a Toy.
My best friend is my iPod Touch. When we are together, we find so much to share and so many fun things to do. It’s remarkable how she always seems to be there to help me forget what I was doing, reminding me that I would much rather be playing Spiderette or Penguin Lite than attacking the long-overdue items on my Remember The Milk to-do list.

I have a similar issue with my laptop. Here it becomes a bit of an issue, since my laptop is not only a tool for work but it is also the only entertainment I have. When I sit down to work, I am ostensibly sitting down at my TV, phone, and computer all at once. It’s very easy to say “I can just listen to a few podcasts while I work” which morphs into “I wonder what’s in my Hulu queue” and finally becomes “screw it, it’s too late for me to be working anyway!” My multitasking has now become a barrier to the completion of even the simplest task, and so I must resolve to limit my iPod Touch “playtime” to 30 minutes and my video entertainment time to 2.5 hours each day. That sounds like so much when you say it out loud, but it would be an incredible savings of time if I could do it. I could spend 30 minutes after work and still catch a couple of episodes of online TV before bed.

Resolution 7- Upgrades are not Manifest Destiny.
I am renowned for having a short attention span. My entire school career is littered with terrific first semester performance sullied by near inactivity in the second semester. Someone holds up a shiny object, a new activity, or something that offers a bigger challenge than finishing the last vestiges of a report and I am the guy who will run. If you want a long-term project handled, I am not your guy. If you need someone to keep 8 balls in the air without losing his composure, call me. I can make 15 decisions in 10 seconds, but cannot complete the last task on any to-do list.

This love of shiny things makes computer and equipment upgrades very attractive to me. “Ooo! A new mic would make my podcasts sound slightly better!” “Version 19.2.7 has to be better than 19.2.6!” I spend far too much time, energy, and money on incremental upgrades in my life. I don’t need the next big Social Media site. I don’t need a new mixer. I need to do what I can with what I have. When someone starts writing checks for it, THEN I will upgrade. So I resolve only to upgrade equipment and sofware when it is necessary for a paying job OR to maintain security and functionality of my current setup. To prove how true this is, as I write I am running FORMAT C: on my Toshiba laptop, trying to recover it from the debacle of installing XP on it. It’s built only for Vista, and trying to ‘fix’ by installing XP has completely ruined it. It’s a very expensive mistake caused by my endless quest for more more MORE performance.

If you liked these, you’ll like my resolutions for Family and Faith.

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technology

Having completed my Family Resolutions the other day, I should take a moment to continue my resolutions as a man of faith.

Resolution 4- Remember that “Name in Vain” thingy
For a man who teaches the youngest of children, you would think I had better control of my mouth. I don’t. I also work across the hall from a first grade teacher who can keep pace with a sailor on leave. It makes it really easy for me to fall into a pattern of terribly ugly language.

I also have tweenage and teenage children. I get frustrated and lose control of my mouth at times. I also managed to teach my wife somewhere along the way to do the same thing. I need to stop. Not only is it degrading to my children, but it also sets a terrible example for them. Finally, it also pushes me further from my faith. So I resolve to clean up my language.

Resolution 5- Say thank you to the One who helps most

Resolution 3 addresses my most important earthly relationship. I need to do a better job maintaining my most important spiritual relationship. I pray two or three times a year, except if there is a crisis. I don’t go to confession. I hardly pray when I am actually IN the church.

Grace x3 annually is not enough. I’m a realist, though. I know I won’t be getting on bended knee each night before bed, but a few minutes every week to give thanks for that which is good would certainly be an improvement. I resolve to give thanks in prayer each week.

Check out my resolutions for Marriage and Family and Technology.

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faith, prayer, religion

Taking a blog hiatus means I’m a little behind in my blogging to-do list. I thought it would be a good idea to set some goals for myself in each of the core areas of this blog. You know, offer a little focus to my quest for self-improvement.

Resolution 1- Lose Weight and Improve General Health

A few years ago, I weighed in at 250 pounds. I felt terrible at that weight, so I put myself on a self-designed regimen of exercise (walking every day for about 2 miles) and diet (more vegetables and fruits, much less volume of everything else.) It worked, and I lost 30 pounds.

Now, I’ve regained all the weight, and then some! When I’m fat, I’m not as good as father as I should be. I finish work and want to go to sleep. I don’t have the energy to play or even talk with the kids most days. I don’t feel attractive, so it has an impact on my, er, um, marriage. Not to mention the fact that if I drop the weight, I increase my life span significantly. I’ll be a much better father and husband if I am, in fact, alive. Of course, I am worth a significant amount of money deceased, so there is a potential fail/win if I don’t lose the weight. However, I resolve to get my weight down to 220 pounds.

Resolution 2- Learn from The Cobbler

I’ve heard many times about The Cobbler whose kids have no shoes. I will make sure my children have shoes… no, wait! That’s not it. Actually, my kids are both extremely talented musically. My son is even considering going into Music Education. You would think that I’d be on that like white on rice. I’m not.

There are a variety of factors that contribute. Distance is a big one. We’re apart for 4 night every week, so we don’t get to touch base all week on things like practice. Then I come home for the weekend and get dragged into things that are more pressing but less important. I resolve to make more time to foster my children’s musical talents.

Resolution 3- Remember The Most Important Earthly Relationship

We are all a collection of our experiences and relationships. Many are by chance. We do not pick our mother, nor do we pick our father. Our children are born to us. We choose to have them (usually) but we must play the hand we’re dealt. You can’t just bail on your kids if the relationship is in trouble. They are yours for keeps.

We make one truly important choice in our lives: the choice of a mate. I remind my kids when they get particularly thorny with their mother that “she was the one I chose to spend my life with. I love them, but she comes first.” The truth of that is often forgotten in the heat of whatever family moment we are in. I need to remember each and every moment that the most important person in my life is my wife. The fact that she is so wonderful should make me get down on my knees each day to give thanks. What it actually does is allow me to put her needs second, third, and last, knowing that she is so special she will never hold it against me. She deserves better, and I would like to try to give her better. I resolve to spend at least two nights each month putting her needs first and foremost.

Check out my resolutions on Faith and Technology.

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parenting, marriage, children, kids, fatherhood, spouses,
diet, exercise, health

I have been away for a while. When I say ‘away,’ I mean ‘not here blogging.’ I’ve been with the family and generally avoiding all technology except for my iPod Touch application of Solitaire.

It’s not that I want to stop. Sometimes family commitments have to come first. Finishing work in my basement, fixing a variety of ills around the house, and visiting with my families (Nuclear, Mom, Dad, and In-Laws). I’ve missed you all, and I look forward to a new year of blogging about Technology, Family, and Faith.