Dad Revisited

Could anything be more smug than a Prius Owner? Yes- a Mac user. Vinny and Roland catch up on their PC vs Mac problems. Then these two Toyota Prius owners are going head-to-head about their hybrid car ownership experiences. We’ll break down how a hybrid works, driving habits, and real-world fuel mileage results. If you’re curious about buying a hybrid car, you’ll definitely want to listen to this conversation.

Hybrid conversation starts at 21:00.

Thanks for listening!

Links Mentioned:

• WikiHow – tips for Prius owners
• South Park “Smug Alert” — Watch what happens when the fine citizens of South Park start driving hybrid cars.

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Women have purses. That is a near universal fact. Men don’t have purses. I have a bag in which I keep my things. I’ve heard them called a ‘man purse.’ My kids call it a ‘murse.’ Regardless, it’s where I usually keep my stuff. Well, a lot of my stuff. There are things that I keep in my pockets. My keys, for example, rarely end up in my bag. My cell phone stays on my belt. My iPod Touch, which is my notepad, calendar, and all-around digital assistant, stays in my shirt pocket.

The bag carries things like Advil, Band Aids, vitamins, toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, and any other crap I have to carry around. It’s not the home for everything, but the stuff that I need sometimes. The pocket things, those I need all the time. That makes me a little touchy when I have to go looking for them.

I put my things down a few times a day. I put them down together for the most part. Often it’s on the bed, or on the counter. I know where to look for them, because there are only a few places where I keep them. So you can imagine that when I can’t find them, I get a little testy.

My wife goes through these time periods where she wants things put away. It’s not every day, but when it comes, it’s serious. Unfortunately, I am not usually of a similar mind. I am often engaged in repair, cleaning, or organizational activities at that time. While I am off fixing and organizing in the basement, my wife is in the kitchen, moving my stuff. If I’ve left the things on the bed, my wife moves them while I am in the kitchen.

There creates a conflict. Not a big one, but I get pissy. I hate having to look for my things. I go to where I am certain I left the items, and they are not there. That’s no fun for me, and I then make it no fun for everyone around me. Stomping around and raising a ruckus is the usual outcome, if not worse.

I don’t understand it. I never move my wife’s purse. Never. If it’s on the floor, I leave it. If it’s on the counter, it stays. If it’s under the table, it remains under the table. I have no reason to move it. If, for some reason, I must move it, it ends up in the middle of the counter in full view, facilitating a call to action on the part of the owner. It sits on full display saying ‘look at me, I need a new home.’

When my stuff gets moved, it always seems to be to a corner, out of the way, or under something. Would it be too hard to, say, leave it in the middle of the bed? Pile it on the counter? I would see such a pile or arrangement amidst the other otganization and know that I am being called to action. I can take a hint. I’m observant and mostly accommodating.

Further complicating matters is the fact that I live between two homes. My weekday apartment is mine. My stuff goes wherever I want it to go. Then I come home for the weekend. I am here for two days of the week, and that means that the house has it’s own rhythm. I come in and my stuff is essentially unwelcome. My things clutter up a house that’s got it’s own routines established. Where do I fit in? In essence, I don’t. It’s frustrating.

George Carlin had too many places for his stuff. I seem to have too few. Even my murse doesn’t do it.

We lock our televisions. We didn’t always do that, but since my wife started working full time, we’ve had a few issues with unattended television use. It’s not about the content (although my wife would like my son’s viewing to contain less violence) but time. Unattended the kids will watch television until they blob up into those immovable obese folks you see on the news who can’t leave their house anymore.

I tried the V-Chip on the TV. It does what it claims to do. You can make sure your kids can’t watch anything other than the ratings level YOU choose. Unfortunately, the V-chip does not limit time. It also does not limit unrated TV shows, so there is no guarantee it will prevent all illicit TV viewing.

Our problem is screen time. The kids will vegetate if allowed. This is where our cable provider has a solution. Parental controls on Verizon FIOS TV give us the opportunity to lock out ratings OR channels. I have all the TV’s in our house locked out 100%. No viewing without parental access. That works great, until one of us accidentally enters the code at the wrong time and the kids see it. The big hassle for adults is that we constantly have to enter the code to watch anything. Channel surfing is out, because you have to enter the code every time. Changing the channels is now a seven keystroke deal.

Of course, the kids figured out a way around it. The DVD player isn’t locked. They can watch DVD’s at any time. It’s much more common now to find some of the very old DVDs getting played now. Clearly they have been through the newer discs and looking for something they haven’t watched hundreds of time. Sure, it’s a pretty big hole, but I believe the real issue with TV is it’s ability to surreptitiously steal an afternoon away from you. You sit down for a 15 minute break, get involved in a show, flip a channel, and suddenly two hours of your day have passed. Cracking open a DVD and sitting down… sure it can steal an hour and a half, but it’s more of a hassle than just flipping on the TV, making it less likely, at least in my mind.

Of course, my wife says one good justification a day is healthy. There it is.

Considering my history, I hope it’s easy to understand that I might not agree with all the teachings of my faith. Since my mother is divorced, some of those teachings, technically, make me an unwelcome member of the faith. Others would alienate my friends. Heck, I rarely receive communion because I’m suppossed to go to confession to cleanse my soul before, but it’s been nearly a decade since I went.

So I figured if I am going to write about faith, I should take time to go over some of the biggest issues that people have with religion and flesh them out here. You know the ones:

• Abortion
• Birth Control
• Confession
• Divorce
• Euthanasia
• Gay marriage
• Homosexuality
• Pre-Marital Sex

I already kind of spoke about Heaven and Hell, but I guess I will look back and see if that was really exhaustive on the idea. I’m sure I will think of others, but those are the first that come to mind. If you think of others, please feel free to let me know. I’d love to hear what others think of our approach to religion with the kids.

In a way, though, don’t most people treat their faith like a cafeteria? I know it’s true of catholicism. If you have any gay friends, then you have to set aside some of the tenets of catholicism. If you think it’s acceptable for a young girl ( in Alaska?) to terminate a pregnancy instead of becoming a teenage mother, then you are a ‘Cafeteria Catholic.’ Faith is complicated. I suppose if I am going to write about faith, it makes sense to state my beliefs explicitly.

The next issue for the Cafeteria Catholic- Abortion

Why do kids lie? In my experience, kids lie for a variety of reasons. The most popular reasons are to avoid getting in trouble with adult authority figures or to make themselves sound better than they truly are. What I find especially intriguing is the flimsy lies that children think we’ll accept. You can catch a child in the same lie time and time again, and they will still concoct the same lie in order to avoid your ire.

These days, I have little confidence in what my kids tell me. They lie. No details here, but trust me, they do. Most of the time it’s to avoid what they are sure will be my ire. They think I’ll be mad about a bad grade. They’re sure I’ll yell because they didn’t take their medication. Again.

I do get mad. I yell. I get on them about what they do. For example, I’ll get a report from my child about a spectacular performance on a test. I’ll ask about the other test they were studying for. That test, they explain, has yet to be returned to them. They got a good grade. They’ll even tell me the grade. Inevitably I’ll get an email from the teacher, or I’ll contact the teacher to follow up on this mystery test. The test was returned the day previous, he says. Your child did very poorly, he says. Additionally, your child is behind in homework, which is hurting the overall grade.

Dad: “Why didn’t you tell me about the test?”
Child: “I thought you would be mad.”
Dad: “When you’ve brought me poor test grades before, did I get mad, or did I offer to help you study?”
Child: “You helped me study.”
Dad: “Where is the test?”
Child: “I don’t know.”
Dad: “You threw it away, didn’t you?”
Child: “I lost it.”
Dad: “Uh huh. So how can I help you study, when you don’t have the test?”

If I had a nickel (or a copy of a failed test) for every time I’ve had this conversation, I’d be rich. OK, I’d be happy. Happier. Should I expect it? I guess not. It’s a fact of life. Kids need to find out what they can do, what they can’t do, and where to draw the line. They need to accept responsibility for their actions, which is a very mature attitude. Most adults have trouble with this. I know it’s never been easy for me. I have to work at it every day.

I wonder how my mother kept her sanity, because as I see my children acting in this way, I recall that I was much the same. I must have frayed her nerves in a terrible way. God grant us all serenity, for we need it.

I love the internet. Social Media? Awesome! Blogging? Cool! Micro blogging? Macro spectacular!

Since I started blogging, podcasting, and socializing on the internet, I have made bunches of friends. I keep in touch with them all kinds of ways. I am friends with them on Facebook. I follow their timelines on PLurk. I have ‘friended’ them on Friendfeed, LinkedIn, MySpace… you name it, I am connected there. These are some funny, cool people I’m hooked to on the internet.

I don’t know them in real life. Most of them live far away. Yeah, I’ve connected with a few. I started a podcast with one, and another I met through voice mails on the Dawn and Drew podcast. But for the mst part, my internet life and my real life are separate. That is both by design and by nature. I have a few friends who are social media/ internet geeks, but they are not many in number. They do Facebook, and have a blog or two, but they are not on Twitter. (One of them likes using Yahoo Groups. I’ll never get that.)

My colleagues at work? I don’t bring it up. For me, I can’t really dig the folks at work getting that much information on me. Even former colleagues aren’t so knowing when it comes to my internet life. A few follow me on Facebook, but the number is in the single digits.

My other real-world friends? I don’t ask them to follow me on the internet. I don’t tell them about my blogs. I don’t tell them about Twitter. For some reason, I like to keep these lives separate. Maybe I’m someone else on the internet, and I’m afraid my real-life friends will catch on.

I have a mission. I’m sure we all have a mission. I’m speaking of my mission in the faith. I’ll never be a real evangelist, but my mission, although small in it’s scope must be of some value.

I am to change the lives of children. Not all of them, but those that are placed before me. As a music teacher you might wonder just how much change can you effect in a child’s life in 40 minutes a week?

Sure, the classroom teacher sees them for six hours each day. I only see them for 40 minutes. But I see them for years. As the only classroom music teacher in the building I often have children for multiple years. It goes me a chance to set standards. A chance to develop relationships. A chance to effect long-term change.

I hold pretty high standards for kids. Not for their performance, but for their conduct. My role as a teacher is to change children and him they act. Children should be putting forth their best whenever possible.

This has not always made me a favorite with parents. When I hold children accountable for their actions (either as an administrator or a teacher) parents have been known to … bristle. They take it as an attack on their parenting. They frequently jump to the defense of their kids. “My child would never do that.”

Wouldn’t it be great if it were true? It’s not. Teachers are there to act in the capacity of parent when they are not present. In loco parentis. I take that job seriously, no matter what the age of the children. Apologies must be made and must be heartfelt. Hitting is unnacceptable. Speak in a civil tone to all. Try your hardest.

Show respect for all. Your teacher by doing your best work. Your family by representing them well when you are apart. Your friends by standing with them doing your part. Yourself by taking your education seriously and learning because smart is always cool.

How’s that for a mission?

A few years ago, my wife started a Family TV Night. It was Sunday night, and we sat and watched Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. We would all sit and cry over the sad stories, marvel at the extraordinary gadgetry they installed, and then we’d cry again at the homecoming.

I’m over EM:HE. However, as a family we still enjoy sitting down together and watching television. My wife is a big fan of sitting down and watching old movies, or movie adaptations of great literature. We’ve seen To Kill A Mockingbird and Sense and Sensibility among other great pieces of visual and written art. Our tastes do include a few shows that are acceptable to everyone in the family. Below are a few of our choices:

• Monk- We started watching Monk when my daughter started becoming interested in some of the peculiarities of OCD. She still looks forward to new Monk episodes. She was nutty when the show appeared to have killed Monk off, and couln’t believe they would make us wait TWO WEEKS to see the resolution. CAVEAT- The opening of the show usually has a murder, and in some cases the murder scene is somewhat graphic. At 11 years old, that is a ‘pillow over the face’ moment for her.
• psych- Again, my daughter was the primary proponent behind this show. (I wonder if it is because it means she gets to stay up until 11pm to see it!) The humor is fast paced, silly, and in your face. Shawn is nutty and disobedient, Gus is a scaredy cat stick in the mud, and together we howl at them. The relationships are fun to watch develop, there is a cartoon built in to the middle of many episodes, and my son imitates the Verizon commercials made by the leads. He does Dule Hill’s voice perfectly. “”Number 5 just says ‘Egypt!’”
• Clean House- This was not one of my choices. My wife and daughter love Niecy. I can’t believe some of the people they get on the show. I’m sure much of it is staged or edited specifically for TV, but dang! I though MY house was a mess.
• The Daily Show- My daughter doesn’t get to watch this, but the rest of us enjoy this one. My son watches it in reruns. My wife and I watch it when we’re together, and we’ll occasionally share a particular episode on the internet. Stewart’s take on politics is in keeping with the family’s politics.
• Mythbusters- An oldie, but a goodie. Being able to watch things blow up, for real, and not have to worry about the connotation of violence? Come on- it’s science! We don’t watch it as much as we used to, but the occasional topic will peak my interest, and we’ll sit down to watch.

It’s tough to find shows you can watch together as a family, but when you do it’s worth the time. Pop some popcorn (we got special movie-style popcorn cups for that purpose), cuddle up on the couch and settle in for a day/night/weekend of goofing off. We all have so little family time these days- why not make the time?

I’ve been hating on Vista. A lot. I had little luck with Vista, which caused my computer to crash, lag, and generally aggravate me.

Since I’ve gotten my Macbook, I’ve set up the old Vista laptop at home for the kids to use as a second computer. Since they are both in upper schools, they need to type their work and do internet research. I never had cause to set up additional accounts on my Vista laptop, since it was mine, Mine MINE! Now that it is gleefully NOT mine, I decided to poke around a bit.

It turns out that Vista’s Parental Controls are pretty cool. They are similar to Apple’s, in that you can restrict access to certain programs**. You can also program in certain sites that your children can and cannot visit. For me, the big coup comes in the Usage Logs available to system administrators in Vista.

We often like to check on whether or not our kids are practicing responsible behavior on the internet. We also like to check on their productivity in front of the keyboard. For example, are they on Facebook or are they doing their research? Are they checking out the latest video on YouTube, or are they answering the email they received from their teacher? We can do that on the Mac, provided they do NOT erase the History.

I know. Your kid doesn’t think like that. We thought that too. We were wrong.

In Vista, the Usage Report is available only to administrators. It even reminds you to check it on a user-selected timetable. I like that.

You may think your kids are doing the right thing. Understand that the internet is a big, scary place. They don’t always know they are doing the wrong thing. Kids don’t wander away from their parents at the Mall on purpose. They get distracted by the big shiny thing, and suddenly they are gone. The same happens on the internet. One link leads to another, and suddenly they are in a porn storm. They will not tell you. Okay, a few will. Many will not.  Usage logs allow you to go back and check for understanding AND good practice.

If your child’s teacher took your kid’s word for whether or not they knew a concept, you’d go nuts. “I asked him if he understood. He said yes, so we moved on.” You expect a test. Isn’t this concept important enough to warrant a test?

** Apple’s system for allowing/denying access to sites is easier to manage on the fly, as it requires only a parent password while your child is logged in. Vista requires the parent to log in to manage access to web sites.

I’m going to Hell. If there is such a place (and my Faith says there is) then someone like me must certainly be headed there. I’m not being a doomsayer. I’ve reviewed the book that is my life and found that on the whole found it wanting.

There are plenty of reasons for my thinking. I have lied. I have cheated. I have stolen. I have coveted. I have sliced off the 2nd tee at the Executive Course. I have womanized. I have cursed. I have taken God’s name in vain so often I can’t believe my children don’t think that’s the proper way to invoke it.

If you plotted my sinful life on a line graph, you would say that I am improving.  I’m sure I’m closer to Heaven now then I was 2, 5, or ten years ago. I still have a ways to go. I often joke about where I’m ending up, although I’m not sure if being a realist (or a pessimist) moves me closer to Heaven or Hell. Hopefully it’s just considered a “status update” and has no impact either way.

My wife assures me I’m a better man than I believe. That may be true, but from my perspective I sometimes find it hard to believe. She speaks often of the women she knows, the men in their lives, and how much better I am than THOSE guys. That may be so (and if it is, guys, really?) but I don’t think it is a ranking, and the guys closer to the top get in. I think it’s more of a yardstick system, and if you are not the proverbial 42″ of good then you don’t get to ride the Freedom Train.

So what brought this on? I was thinking of it while in church and taking a moment for my mea culpa. If I need to write them down to remember them, it’s probably too many, right?